


untouched (i want you so much)

by laehys



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Secret Relationship, Sexting, part of this is chat fic and the rest is angst and chaos, rj and dh compete over who can send the best pics, this is v random and the plot is minimal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:41:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24221485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laehys/pseuds/laehys
Summary: Donghyuck’s stuck in North America for a few months. He tries his best to cope with being away from his boyfriends, but it's hard—especially when they tease him merciless through text messages.or: Donghyuck thinks he's being slick but people around him are starting to catch up that maybe there's somethingmoregoing on.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 28
Kudos: 328





	untouched (i want you so much)

**Author's Note:**

> ......this is 100% self-indulgent and im not sorry  
> you can see the exact moment where i said 'fuck it' and gave up lol  
> and it all just became an even bigger mess lmao
> 
> and yes, the title is from untouched by the veronicas bc that's a timeless banger
> 
> just a reminder that this is almost 40% chat fic, so if u don't like this kind of thing and skip these parts, u might miss some (of the minimal) plot :(
> 
> warning: hyuck gets a little anxious by the end and there's talking abt outing ppl

It’s fucking awful to stay away from his boyfriends.

Okay, okay. He _is_ having a lot of fun and actually fulfilling his dreams of being a singer and performing around the world but still… there are some moments when Donghyuck just wants to crawl under a blanket, surrounded by all sides with his boys, and forget that a world even exists outside the bedroom.

Usually, he manages quite okay, he’d say.

Yeah, sometimes he might send an angry rant on the group chat or ignore their messages for a few days, especially when the longing and the bitter thoughts have grown considerably by missing their texts because of time zones or just the general knowledge that they were seeing each other all day while he’s on the other side of the globe and hasn’t touched any of them for _months_.

But these situations were worse at the beginning when communication wasn’t that great yet — the tense silences, awkward pauses, the horrifying thoughts that _maybe they had fucked up a pretty good friendship, and what now?_

But they managed. They learned how to.

And so Donghyuck would say he’s getting pretty good at recognizing when he’s starting to become frustrated, so he tries not to isolate himself as much as he used to. Maybe drop a text to Jaemin who would immediately reply and offer to talk; get in a video call with Renjun just so they could talk and see his reactions in real-time; or talk with Jeno late at night, confessing his thoughts when surrounded by the darkness and comforted by the other’s presence.

Having people by his side who knows the situation also helps — which aren’t _that_ many, for they are trying to be low-key and not worry their hyungs who would definitely worry and freak out. 

(Thank god for Mark and his awful timing that had made him stumble through the door just to get to see them four on a make-out session that turned into awkward confessions and pleads of silence. 

At least Donghyuck can count on him to cover his sorry ass when he stutters and says something that he shouldn't. And Jungwoo who, because of NCT 2018, was in the Dream's dorm and saw himself caught in the middle of the mess that was the " _Do I like you and I'm jealous because you're kissing someone else or I just wanted to be part of that and kiss you all_?" struggle.

Jungwoo had been the one that, surprisingly, understood everything first and made them realize how dumb they were. And that, maybe, kissing more than one boy when everyone was on the same page was pretty damn okay and _not a fucking trouble, god, just go confess and stop this madness._ )

So there Donghyuck is — stuck in North America for some months to film MVs, do some shows, promote on American shows, and whatever their company decides they have to do. In a place very far away from South Korea where his boys were probably snuggling all day since they didn't have any promotions.

He can’t lie, he _is_ a little jealous that apparently he missed the mess that was Renjun misplacing his things just to blackmail Jisung who in turn involved Jaemin that tried to talk with Renjun who ignored him and tried to make Jeno distract Jaemin just so he could try to get the information out of Jisung — which had happened in almost a hundred messages on the Dream's group chat and over 300 hundred on their personal chat.

(Chenle was the only one who was lucky enough to be at his own house when hell broke loose for the fiftieth time that week, not getting involved in the mess.)

The first text on their personal group chat started with:

**renjun:** im gonna fuckin murder whoever touched my notebook

But after hundreds of messages — and Donghyuck imagined lots of talking too — the drama had ended in a happy note with:

**renjun:** it's okay it's not like you even like to eat ass anyway

 **jaemin:** 😔  
**jaemin:** that's a lie and you know it  
**jaemin:** i have no problem eating out my babies 😔

 **jeno:** don't even worry about reading everything, hyuck!  
just know that everything's okay and the problem was solved!  
**jeno:** <3

And that's why he fucking likes Jeno the most. Bless him and his adorable soul.

Struggling to open his eyes and not fucking die with the brightness in the room, Donghyuck rolls around the bed and sees that Taeil, his roommate, was already awake; he’s laying down, one arm holding his phone up and watching something on the screen.

"Hey. Good morning, Hyuckie," Taeil says without taking off his earphones and barely acknowledging him besides a quick passing of eyes.

"Hi, hyungie," he grumbles, voice cracking by disuse. He yawns and stretches in bed, getting startled when the phone on his hand vibrates.

**jaemin:** hyuck's awake!! i just saw that the notification is gone  
**jaemin:** morning babie ❤️😊

 **jeno:** morning

 **hyuck:** hey just got up now lmao i won't even read what happened  
**hyuck:** (thx jen)  
**hyuck:** how's everything going on there?

 **jaemin:** it's just missing hyuck hours until you're back 🥺

Donghyuck's heart skips a beat and he tries hard not to smile when he reads that. God, he misses them _so much_.

**hyuck:** yeah it will take a while tho

 **jeno:** :(

 **jaemin:** it's okay… missing u though

 **hyuck:** where's renjun

 **jeno:** he's in the shower  
**jeno:** tried to grab three pans at the same time and spilled all over himself

 **jaemin:** jeno!!!!! delete delete delete  
**jaemin:** he said not to tell hyuck that!!!

 **hyuck** : oh that dumb child  
**hyuck:** lmao  
**hyuck:** let's delete now and i'll just hint at something later

 **jeno:** ;)

Oh, yeah. He fucking _loves_ Jeno.

"What are you grinning at?" Taeil asks and Donghyuck raises his eyes from the phone, seeing that Taeil has his phone face down on his chest and was just watching him.

"Just… Huh… The dreamies creating chaos. Like always." He tries to shrug in a nonchalant way but forgets he was laying on his side, so the result was his body looking like a spamming mess.

"What did they do now?" Taeil has a fatherly smile on his face and Donghyuck almost spills all his secrets for looking at the man's warm and inviting gaze. Taeil was _dangerous_ . He has to keep his guard up. Where the _fuck_ was Mark when he needs him?

"Renjun thought someone had hidden his notebook and everyone got involved, but turns out he just misplaced it. And then spilled food all over himself."

Taeil chuckles and grabs his phone back, unlocking it. "They're always so fun. The dorm never has a minute of peace, right?"

"Yeah… They don't really know what that word means, I guess."

His phone vibrates again. Donghyuck sighs wistfully at seeing the notification.

**renjun:** morning to u

 **hyuck** : night to u

 **jaemin:** babies being so romantic 🥺

 **renjun:** …asshole

 **hyuck** : quick renjun!! can't let people know u DO actually have feelings

 **renjun:** what even are those ugh

 **jeno:** <3

 **renjun:** <3

 **renjun** : not funny you know i can't ignore ur <3

 **jeno:** :p

 **hyuck:** ….....fuckin cute

 **jaemin:** 🥺🥰❤️  
**jaemin:** love you babies  
**jaemin:** quick hyuckie!! send a pic  
**jaemin:** i'm dying over here without seeing you 🥺

 **jeno:** !  
**jeno:** great idea  
**jeno:** <3

 **renjun:** yeah do u even have a face anymore?

 **jaemin:** smooth and romantic as always, injunnie  
**jaemin:** 😂😂

 **renjun:** thanks, love

Donghyuck tries to contain the wheeze that leaves his mouth, but he does a poor job of it and tries to conceal it with faking a cough. _Goddamn it, Renjun. A fucking menace._

He’s definitely not flushing in a hotel room just because he’s imagining Renjun's voice saying "love". He definitely isn’t, even though his ears are burning. That damned pet name was going to be his end and he fucking knew it from the first time he heard Renjun say it.

He sighs defeatedly and props himself up in the pillows, opening the camera app and raising his arm up, trying to get at least an okay angle. He makes a finger heart for the first picture, winks on the next one and, maybe, even pouts slightly on the third shot.

Taeil makes an inquiring noise from the back of his throat.

Donghyuck sends the pictures to the group chat and looks at Taeil who just had an eyebrow raised.

"What, hyung?" He says while checking the group's reactions and smiling when he sees all the exclamation points and emojis.

"Is that… for your boys?"

"Huh?"

"The dreamies? The ones your age?" Taeil asks. "Usually you're always talking and sending pictures to them."

"Yeah… They wanted to make sure that I'm not dead and it's not just a random person typing with them."

Taeil laughs. "It's great that you have such good friends who always try to include you even when you're far away. They're good boys—you all are."

"Yeah, hyung… They're the best."

**jaemin:** is that… the love of my life right there? 🥰🐻❤️

 **renjun:** he's obviously the love of MY life

 **jeno:** very cute, hyuckie!  
**jeno:** miss you and come back soon safely!

 **renjun:** yeah u dumb fuck maybe i also kinda miss u

 **jaemin:** god, injunnie... at least you try?

 **hyuck:** yall so damn dumb but i love u all <3  
**hyuck:** jeno's my fave tho

 **renjun:** he's EVERYONE's fave get a grip

 **jeno:** <3

 **jaemin:** aww jeno is flustered  
**jaemin:** look at him hyuckie!!

[image]

 **hyuck:** cute!!!!!!!!

 **renjun:** gtg and pinch best boy's red ear now

 **hyuck:** pinch it for me!!!!!

 **renjun:** always  
**renjun:** :*

* * *

God fucking bless Mark’s romantic soul.

At that moment, Donghyuck would deny with all his heart that he had ever talked shit behind Mark’s back and instead would praise him like never before, because that boy was saving his fucking _life_.

There he is: Donghyuck propped up on the bed, kind of laying down but raising his back enough to make an alluring shot and with the gold-rimmed fake glasses that Renjun liked so much. His silk shirt is unbuttoned just enough (3 buttons, nothing more, he isn’t _Jaemin_ ) and he has no pants on, though the shirt covers the top of his thighs.

And there Mark is—standing on the edge of the mattress, arms raised with a phone in hand and taking pictures of Donghyuck.

“Don’t forget to check the lightning, I don’t want a shitty picture.”

Mark’s face is flushed, avoiding all eye contact with Donghyuck but still doing his job diligently. “Shut up. I’m trying. Do you want another angle?”

Donghyuck closes his eyes and parts his lips, waiting for the shutter sound. Then he turns his back to Mark and kneels on the bed, moving his face slightly to the side, just enough to get his side profile in the shot.

“Jaeminnie complained about the blown-out exposure in the pool’s pictures. If I fuck up on these ones I’ll be the laughing stock for _months_. Don’t mess with me, Markie.”

Mark scoffs but continues to press the capture button, waiting for Donghyuck’s movement. “It’s not my fault that he chose to see the technical side of the picture. _He’s_ the photographer one, I’m _not_. Like, do you wanna get Johnny-hyung involved just so you can have good thirsty trap pictures to send?”

Donghyuck actually had considered that option. It would definitely make him as the one with the best pictures and he’d be able to kick Renjun off of his throne. But the problems that would arrive with another member knowing about their situation… The risk of the big mess wasn’t worth a few good pictures. He could deal with Mark and his shaky fingers.

“Imagine if the hyungs found out… _God_. I think they would die of a heart attack before they could even lecture us.”

“Yeah, like, _I_ almost died and I’m younger than them. Jesus, it would be a mess.”

“That’s why you gotta improve your photography game, Markie. Can’t get them involved and I need my bomb ass pictures.”

Mark grumbles but continues to move the phone in search of new angles. “You owe me so much, Hyuck. I swear to God that I don’t get enough to do this.”

“Shut up, it was you who offered.”

“ _Yeah_ , because I thought it would be a one-time thing and cute pictures of maybe your outfit or you in pretty locations and not… not…” Mark flushes red and closes his mouth shut.

Donghyuck cackles, resting his head on his arms and raising his backside. “If you think this is too lewd—god, you have no idea. I choose things that won’t corrupt your innocence!”

“Please, don’t tell me that it’s Jungwoo-hyung who’s having to suffer.”

Donghyuck hums. He moves to sit on his legs, hands on his knees and head thrown to the side, silk shirt slipping over one shoulder. “My tripod is broken and Jungwoo-hyung knows my angles very well. And he doesn’t complain like _certain people_. You do the math.”

“Jesus, why I’m even doing this,” Mark mutters to himself, thrusting the phone closer to Donghyuck’s face. “See if you like them and—”

“Hyuck? Why is the door locked?” A knock resounds on the bedroom and Donghyuck springs up on the bed, grabbing the fallen robe on the floor. Mark locks the phone immediately and drops it on the bed.

“You _locked_ the door?” Mark whispers harshly, grabbing his things from the desk and pocketing his phone. “You know Taeil-hyung hates it when you do that!”

“What you wanted me to do? Leave it open so he can catch me taking thirsty trap photos? You know he wouldn’t let the conversation die!” Donghyuck says, tying a knot on his waist and pushing Mark towards the door. “ _One minute, Taeil-hyung!”_ he screeches and turns to Mark, lowering his tone. “Okay, okay, thank you, _blah blah blah,_ and all that talk. I owe you one. Now _go_ ,” and unlocks the door, opening it and pushing Mark’s across the doorway, pulling Taeil inside in the same movement. “Hi, hyung! Were you waiting long? Sorry, I think I locked the door without even realizing it…” and closes the door on Mark’s face.

Taeil only raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? These weeks you have been forgetting and closing the door a lot...”

Donghyuck only shrugs, moving back towards his bed and retrieving his phone from the sheets, giving Taeil his back so he can’t judge his expressions. “Don’t know. Guess I’m just getting forgetful like that. Oh. I think I’m getting cramps, gotta go.”

Power walking towards the bathroom, Donghyuck closes the door quickly, moving to sit on the cover of the toilet seat. Confidence is the key to avoid any kind of suspicion. He’s sure he nailed it.

He unlocks his phone and goes into the gallery, swiping through the photos just taken and picking his favorites. He’s gonna step the fuck up of his game. Renjun has no idea what is coming for him and his reign.

* * *

He ended up wrong. _So_ wrong.

He should have known better — after all, it was _Renjun_. That boy knows angles like no one else. It’s kind of ridiculous. And not fair at all.

Donghyuck’s photos were a fucking success, even Jeno had sent a message and an audio. _Jeno_ —the one who always forgets to check his notifications and stays silent on the group chat for days.

They had been spamming the group chat for hours after he sent the pictures, and to say that Donghyuck proudly walked down the halls, smiling smugly and ignoring the gazes his hyungs sent him was an understatement. God, Donhyuck felt like he could conquer the whole world.

But then… then Renjun has the _audacity_ of sending a _video_ , a fucking video with audio and everything. That’s ridiculous because he knows exactly what he’s doing. Donghyuck had been just complaining about how he was stuck in some American program waiting room for hours and still hadn’t performed and _Renjun fucking sends the video_.

He can’t compete with him. Renjun is on another fucking level.

From the thumbnail, he can only make out Renjun’s hand splayed on _Donghyuck’s starry sheets_ . He films on _his_ bed, with _audio_ and sends it when he knows Donghyuck can’t watch. It’s torture, absolute torture.

Even worse is seeing the reactions of his other boyfriends: Jaemin’s key-smashing and Jeno’s open-mouthed emoji. _Jeno had sent an actual emoji!_

Fuck.

**hyuck:** i fucking hate u renjun what the fuck u know i cant watch right now

 **renjun:** oh, really? :( that’s so sad :(  
**renjun:** i had no idea :(  
**renjun:** oh no :(

 **hyuck** : you’re unbelievable!!!! i cant even

[image]

 **renjun:** a sneak peek then :)

 **jeno:** oh my gof

Donghyuck fucking smashes the lock button and throws his phone on the sofa, scaring the members close to him and making them jump with his movements.

“Hyuck, are you okay?”

He can’t answer because the only thing on his mind is Renjun’s open mouth and tongue out, fingers coated in saliva mocking him.

“Hyuck?”

Donghyuck forces himself to look at Jaehyun who has a worried expression on his face. Jungwoo was leaning on his side, face resting on Jaehyun’s left shoulder, and Taeil was looking at him from across the room, a frown on his face.

“I’m okay, hyung. Sorry,” he chokes out, grabbing his phone tight. “Just the dreamies… making chaos. As always,” he lets a fake laugh out and gets up. “Gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back.”

“Okay… Don’t take too long, we’re gonna perform soon.”

Donghyuck ignores the looks Mark’s throwing at him, leaving the room as quickly as possible, the phone in his hand vibrating.

* * *

The biggest betrayal comes in the form of the person he least expected it from.

It is morning, so Donghyuck is allowing himself to lazy around and just keep lying down, enjoying the unusual day where he could just… not do anything. Taeil is lying down on his bed, next to him, occupied with an English book and seemingly enjoying that kind of torture at that time of the day.

It’s already night in South Korea. The boys had posted on the group chat their plans for dinner and even shared some cute selfies and food photos (Donghyuck almost cried and missed home _so much more_ ) for an excited Donghyuck. 

He missed them a lot, missed being part of that, of joining them on those escapades and being sandwiched between them in a restaurant’s seat even though there was plenty of empty space. He ached for them so much that he had to video call them as soon as he saw the photos, talking with them as they went back home because he needed to hear their voices, needed to _see_ them.

Renjun hadn’t even mocked him when he called and the first thing that was out of his mouth was a whispered “miss you”, hoping that Taeil couldn’t hear him from where he was in the bathroom. Even with the pixelated screen and lagging connection, Renjun’s gaze was warm and he smiled shyly.

They hadn’t spent too much talking. Jaemin got sidetracked and wanted to show something and took Renjun’s arm, letting Jeno speaking with Donghyuck until he needed to go and rescue the two boys to go home. But it had been enough.

Still, Donghyuck was scrolling down his twitter feed, feeling sleepy with his stomach full of the hotel’s breakfast and his heart warm when he receives a notification from their group chat. Which wouldn’t be anything surprising if it wasn’t from _Jeno_ sending some kind of _media_. Most of the days he didn’t even remember to check his messages and would reply with a simple text, so Donghyuck immediately clicks on the notification and promptly chokes when he sees the picture.

It’s Jaemin. Face flushed, eyes closed and mouth open, with a hand splayed open on his sternum. Jeno’s hand. Donghyuck would recognize it anywhere.

Another picture. The hand is lower, over Jaemin’s abs and Donghyuck’s eyes widen when another picture shows up right after, the hand going even lower. Another picture and Jeno’s hand is wrapped around Jaemin’s cock.

 _Fuck_. He wasn’t ready for that — his body felt like it was burning, heart beating fast and mouth dry; a very big difference from the yearning and comfortable feelings he was having before.

Another picture and now he can see Renjun’s naked back straddling Jaemin’s thighs, barely able to make out Jaemin’s face from over Renjun’s shoulder. Donghyuck loses the grip on his phone and it fells on his face, making him squeak before getting his wits together and raising it close to his face, eyes carefully studying the photo.

Another picture but Jeno’s hand is on Renjun’s back, with a text right below,

**jeno** : miss you hyuckie

_What a fucking tease_ . Donghyuck wants to tear his hair out because it’s only nine am, he has a raging boner and Taeil is on the bed next to his. Everything is going _great_.

**hyuck:** oh my god lee jeno u cant just do this  
**hyuck** : it’s 9am here and taeil-hyung is by my side and im gonna die

Donghyuck barely sends the message when a video finishes downloading and appears on the group chat. He doesn’t hesitate before clicking on the play button. A frame and—a close up of Jaemin’s face, lips swollen and eyes bright, looking directly into the camera, a mess of dark hair under his jaw that Donghyuck _knows_ it’s Renjun; and then—second frame—eyes in focus, mouth more open, a breathy whisper that makes his body freeze and ice run all over his veins, “ _Hyu_ —”

The lightning speed reaction he has to close the video and lower his volume until nothing could be heard is ridiculous. Maybe some kind of record. Donghyuck has no idea how his body reacted that fast, but his heart is beating against his rib cage and he knows, oh god, he knows that Taeil must have heard something, but Donghyuck doesn’t want to confirm his fears.

There’s a message under the video—a message that, in his hurry, he didn’t read before.

**jeno:** okay. i’ll send later then. just tell me when you’re free.

_Fucking Lee Jeno_ , always so considerate of others.

**hyuck:** my volume was up and i think that taeil-hyung heard even though i tried to close it as fast as i could but im freaking out now and i dont want to see his reaction oh my god oh ymogod

But Jeno’s probably too much occupied at the moment, for the notification doesn’t change. Nobody was reading his messages. _Fuckfuckfuck._

Donghyuck isn’t a coward—just in very specific situations—, so he looks from the corner of his eye, trying to see Taeil’s reaction. He seems to be normal, still reading his book, nothing different except for the tip of his ears being red.

 _It’s okay, it’s okay_ , Donghyuck tries to rationalize, _it’s not like the first thought on his mind is going to be that it’s Jaemin’s voice even though he knows him from years and that it was very clearly my name that was coming from the phone. It’s okay._

If Taeil is just going to ignore and not discuss the subject, then he’s going to do the same and ignore, pretend like nothing is wrong. Maybe he’ll only think it’s a random porn video… or even a commission, just so that his name had been used.

It’s going to be okay. It has to.

_Fuck._

* * *

They have a meltdown in the group chat hours later.

Renjun wants to make a video call so they can discuss, but Donghyuck’s too afraid to be overheard and they settle for typing everything out. 

There isn’t much to do. They can only wait to see if Taeil will do or say something, for then to figure out from there.

So they decide to just keep doing things as normal — maybe be a little more careful concerning volume and the use of headphones.

(Thankfully Jeno maintains his word and Donghyuck enjoys, alone, by himself, with no danger around him, and with the use of headphones and a locked door, all the pictures and videos he didn’t send earlier. And Donghyuck very much enjoys it so.)

* * *

The thing is that Donghyuck is horny and away from his boyfriends. And a horny Donghyuck tends to be a little braver than a rational Donghyuck.

If he was afraid, at the beginning, of Taeil breaking down the door when he opens the group chat or that someone will see him when he’s trying to film or take a picture, it all vanishes later on.

The days went on, Taeil says nothing and the feeling of having things under control return.

He has three fucking gorgeous boyfriends who try to make him feel as if he’s there, sending him messages, pictures, and random things so he won’t feel so out of the loop. He misses them, and they are so _far away_ . It’s been months and Donghyuck only sees them in pictures and videos and he’s _tired_.

He would probably implode the moment he comes back and one of them only lays a fucking finger on his arm. He’s horny and tired and yearning for people who aren’t close to him.

And though he tries—they try—their best to bridge the distance, he still misses them a lot. It’s hard and entirely frustrating.

* * *

  
  


“I miss them, hyung,” Donghyuck whines against Mark’s neck, holding his arm and trying to sit on his lap.

Mark keeps pushing Donghyuck away from his thighs and towards to his original seat. “I know. You get a lot clingier when you’re pinning.”

They’re in a van full with the other members and have to be careful to keep their voices down, but Donghyuck is cranky and tired and just over it.

“I’m not _pinning_ , I’m just _missing_ them,” he keeps whining, voice high and jutting down his bottom lip in a pout.

Mark rolls his eyes and shoves him away towards Yuta who had his head banging on the window. Donghyuck turns and grabs Yuta’s arm, but not before sticking his tongue out towards Mark.

“Hyung,” Donghyuck says, but Yuta doesn’t open his eyes nor moves. “I know you’re awake. You’re not even snoring. Give me attention, hyung~”

Yuta stays still, but his lips are twitching, trying to suppress a smile.

“Hyungie~”

“My god, Yuta, just give him some attention, will you?” Doyoung complains, sticking his head over their seats and poking Yuta on the face before going back to his place, muttering about “whiny boys and too much noise”.

Donghyuck smiles victorious and Yuta opens his arms, eyes still closed. Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate before he throws himself on the older, wrapping his arms around Yuta’s waist and pressing his face against Yuta’s chest. There are fingers running through his hair and Donghyuck sags comfortably, eyes slipping shut almost immediately.

“Shhh… Just relax, Hyuckie. Just one more month and we will be going home,” Yuta mumbles, his low voice making his chest vibrate. Donghyuck only nods, rubbing his cheek against his shirt.

He must have dozed off, for when he comes around, his body is still being held, but Johnny’s voice was whispering, “... he okay?”

Jungwoo’s the one who answers while trying to keep his voice down. Donghyuck thinks it’s coming from somewhere behind him. “He’s just missing his boys. They’ve been split up for months now.”

“Huh? His boys? What do you mean?”

A sigh. “The dreamies… His friends. They’re always together, but it’s been months and… well, you know how close they are…”

“Ah... “

Donghyuck tries not to react, to not let them know he’s awake and listening, tries to will his body to not tense, and stay relaxed in the same way in Yuta’s arms.

“I know they’re close, but I didn’t know _how_ close they really are,” Taeil says and Donghyuck can only hope that he isn’t going to say something that can potentially fuck everything up.

“What do you mean?” Johnny whispers.

 _Yeah, Taeil-hyung,_ Donghyuck thinks, _what do you mean?_

“Hyuck is always texting them, and sending pictures and videos… They also video call a lot… Were they always like this, Mark?”

A pause and Mark clears his throat. “Uhhh… Not always?” His voice breaks when he tries to whisper and someone stifles their laugh. “I mean, like, the dreamies are all pretty close and do everything together, but, like, after Jaeminnie came back they _did_ get a lot closer and… well, I guess he just misses them? It’s really been a while... and Hyuck’s always with them when he’s able to.”

“Yeah, I remember when they’re trainees and they wouldn’t leave each other’s side… I’m glad that Chenle and Renjun integrated your dynamic so easily… Even though Jeno, Jaeminnie, and Hyuck have known each other for years, Renjun seems to be very in tune with them.”

“W-well… Uh— _yeah_. They definitely are. It’s like they’ve been together for years. It’s crazy.”

 _Fucking hell, Mark._ Oh, god. If he doesn’t stop Donghyuck will have to jump out and shut him _up_.

“It’s good that they’re such good friends,” Doyoung says. “especially by not having the opportunity to meet people outside the—”

The talk was getting too serious and too real for Donghyuck’s taste, so he moves a little against Yuta’s hold, whining low.

“I think Haechannie—” Yuta starts to talk but falls quiet when Donghyuck yawns and opens his eyes, peering up at him. “Hey, woke up? We’re almost arriving.”

Donghyuck nods and nuzzles his face a little more before letting him go, cracking his neck to the side and stretching his arms out.

“Hey—watch out…!” Mark says, dodging one of Donghyuck’s arm.

Donghyuck only smiles at him, all teeth and narrowed gaze.

* * *

“Here, hyung,” Donghyuck says, thrusting his phone already open in the camera app to Johnny. “Take a picture of me, please.”

“Huh, okay. Where do you want it?”

They’re in the third location for their music video filming, next to a bridge illuminated by a thousand colorful LED strings and neon lights. Just some more days of shooting and that part would be finished. Three more weeks until they get to go home.

“I don’t know. Somewhere pretty and that Injunnie won’t have how to mock me later?”

Johnny snorts. “Tough job, kid. By what you say it seems like he will have material for that even with you standing in front of a white wall.”

Donghyuck shrugs nonchalantly. He’d probably do the same with him. “You’re right. Somewhere pretty, then?”

Johnny directs him, moving to stay in front of some pillar and crouching to get a good angle. He takes some pictures, talking with him and asking to move positions until he deems it good enough.

“Thanks, hyung,” he says, already opening the group chat to send the shots. “Do you want me to take some of you?”

Jaemin’s online and immediately spams the chat with heart emojis.

He looks up to Johnny when he doesn’t reply and sees that Johnny was looking down at his phone, the screen still filled with heart emojis. Donghyuck locks the screen quickly, hoping he isn’t flushing.

Johnny chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s okay. But thanks, Hyuckie.”

He waits until Johnny has left to unlock and send Jaemin some heart emojis back.

* * *

**renjun:** look at what i saw 😈

[image]

 **hyuck:** is that… is that my hoodie??? @jeno

 **renjun:** u bet ur ass it is lmao

 **jaemin:** baby so cute… and cuddly… and cute…  
**jaemin:** missing you a lot! @hyuck  
**jaemin:** 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

 **hyuck:** miss u too nana  
**hyuck:** u all  
**hyuck:** we’re going to film in 2 more locations and then it ends  
**hyuck:** but still 3 more weeks to go

 **renjun:** pouty nana bc he misses u

[image]

 **hyuck:** oooohhHHH  
**hyuck:** CUTE  
**hyuck:** mind empty...heart full...

 **jeno:** what does that even mean?

 **renjun:** ignore him he’s too much on sns

 **jaemin:** is something good?

 **renjun:** yea

 **jaemin:** okay  
**jaemin:** [thinking about hyuckie coming home soon] mind empty...heart full...

 **hyuck:** lskdsjdjksdla adorable  
**hyuck:** heart’s gonna explode sorry bye

 **renjun:** bye

 **hyuck:** laskjs shut uP

 **renjun:** make me  
**renjun:** oh u cant bc you’re far away  
**renjun:** guess u gotta come back to try

  
  


**renjun:** hyuck?

 **jeno:** i think you broke him

 **hyuck:** my god i had to literally get up and walk bc i couldn’t take that one lmao  
**hyuck:** im getting...so weak…  
**hyuck:** my standards are so low now

 **jaemin:** just a little more and then everything’s going to be okay  
**jaemin:** 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

 **renjun:** hey hyuck

[image]

 **hyuck:** oh  
**hyuck:** renjun who? i only know a jeno and a jaemin now

 **renjun:** i take the pic...i send it to u...thats how u repay me?  
**renjun:** </3

 **hyuck:** who u again

 **jaemin:** he’s not even trying. look, all smiles

[image]

 **renjun:** plz dont expose me like that

 **hyuck:** god u try so hard to be edgy but u just too cute

 **jeno:** yeah, he’s too cute <3

 **renjun:** god jeno, back me up here plz

[image]

 **hyuck:** aaaa it’s blurry take another onee

 **jaemin:** wait

[image]

 **jaemin:** your boyfriends who miss you a lot. come back safely, baby!  
**jaemin:** 🥰

 **hyuck:** just 3 more weeks and then u wont be able to get rid of me

 **jeno:** can’t wait <3

* * *

**jaemin:** can’t stop thinking about you coming back soon

[image]

[image]

[image]

Donghyuck gasps loudly and looks around him, but nobody seems to be paying attention to him. They are at their last music video location, in the middle of nowhere, just an empty highway and sand everywhere.

He’s sitting in a chair by the side, just having finished having his make up applied and waiting for the other members to be ready so they could start shooting.

**hyuck:** omg im in public jaem what if someone ended up seeing that???  
**hyuck:** i thought we’d be more careful when sending nudes???

 **jaemin:** i dont care  
**jaemin:** i miss you but right now i just miss your fingers and your cock a lot more

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

Donghyuck isn’t freaking out but he’s totally freaking out because he’s in public, there are a million people around him and yet he can’t stop himself from opening Jaemin’s pictures.

**hyuck:** where are jeno and renjun??

 **jaemin:** practice and radio

 **jaemin:** send me pics i want to see you

 **hyuck:** im in public and im frakiing out and im in pUBLCI with my mv outfit i cant

[image]

[image]

 **jaemin:** i miss you

 **jaemin:** please

 **hyuck:** ok waitit waitt

He can’t believe he’s doing that but—Donghyuck gets up in a flash, looking around, entirely lost, until he manages to find Jaehyun strolling around, a cup of coffee on his hand.

“Hyung! Hyung! Where’s the bathroom?” He asks in a hurry.

Jaehyun furrows his brow. “Is everything okay, Hyuck? The bathroom is over there by the van—”

“Thanks!”

He probably arrived in record time, but by the time he closes the door behind him and is trying to buckle open his belt, Jaemin had already sent over ten pictures.

  
  


**jaemin:** hyuck?

 **hyuck:** im hereie ime hre  
**hyuck:** just got in te bathriom  
**hyuck:** fuck jaem

[image]

[image]

 **jaemin:** yeah? i wnt to hear u moan bt i gues ill settle fr anythgin  
**jaemin:** send me dunes  
**jaemin:** dunes  
**jaemin:** DUNES  
**jaemin:** nud3s 

Donghyuck drags his pants down while chuckling, and while he’d love to tease Jaemin because of it, there are pressing matters to be taken care of.

(He does screenshot the convo, just so in case Jaemin tries to delete it after).

* * *

As soon as Donghyuck left the bathroom, got a food break, and took a small walk around the location, he took a picture of the sand. He cropped Jaemin’s text and sent both images.

[image]

[image]

 **hyuck:** just for u baby ;)

Renjun’s the first to reply, key-smashing, and spamming the entire group. Even Jeno sends a reaction picture before Jaemin tries to delete their entire convo. Again.

* * *

He’s fucking crazy. That’s’ the only explanation possible. But still—still he goes for it. Wants to have the last word. Or something like that. Whatever was good enough at the moment to convince himself.

“Hyung, how much are you willing to risk to help me?” Donghyuck whispers to Jungwoo, hands around his mouth in case any of the members knows how to read lips. He doubts any of them are good enough at that, but you can never be too careful these times.

They’re sitting inside a bus, waiting for solo shoots to finish so they can start filming the dance parts with the sunset in the background.

Jungwoo arches an eyebrow, mischievous smile on his face. “What do you mean?”

“I mean if, hypothetically speaking, I needed you to take pics but…”

“But…?”

Donghyuck looks around, knows his face was flushed and he has no way of hiding it. “Clothes aren’t involved,” he mumbles. “Please, Jungwoo-hyung. I’ll buy you coffee for an entire month.”

Jungwoo’s smile is quickly wiped off from his face and he looks serious, holding his gaze. “Donghyuck-ah,” he says, using his entire name in a display of unusual seriousness. “ What you’re asking of me is a lot more than just something fun or to joke with your…you know.”

Donghyuck nods his head. “I know, I know. It’s just.” He bits his lip, frustrated. “I can’t ask anyone else and Jaemin really left a breach for something really amazing and _please_ Jungwoo-hyung, _please._ You don’t even hate to look—you just need to hold a phone with your eyes closed, and we can put it a countdown so the pictures are taken automatically.”

* * *

Donghyuck waits for the perfect opportunity.

Just before they’re going to film the final scenes, when it’s still early in South Korea, he sends the picture.

And it’s perfect. Amazing. Earth-shattering. Even the sand everywhere was worthy when he gets to see his boyfriends have a meltdown over _him_.

While he enjoys his fair share of teasing pictures, it’s not often he’ll share something like _that_. Especially when he’s alone in the shot.

He feels powerful and knows that this new-found confidence definitely showed up in his performance later on.

He finally, finally had taken over Renjun’s reign of thirsty traps and risqué videos.

* * *

Donghyuck enjoys his reign for 5 hours and 13 minutes because Renjun’s a fucking menace and is in South Korea with their boyfriends and doesn’t have only himself to pose. Donghyuck, of course, won’t admit or forfeit that, _yes_ , Renjun wins that one—he’s too biased and too proud to say so.

And _of-fucking-course_ he’s going to win when comparing a solo picture with one where the three of them are in. 

Donghyuck seethes.

(And saves the pictures so he could appreciate them better later on).

* * *

It was bound to happen sometime. He had been slipping too much lately and, even with Jungwoo and Mark helping him, Donghyuck knew his behavior was getting even more suspicious.

The older members keep asking who he’s texting with when he’s spending more than two minutes typing on his phone, why he’s taking so many pictures and videos, asking why he needs to borrow Jungwoo or Mark. _Why only them? Is there something that Donghyuck wants to share with them?_ They keep smirking and sending him looks when they think he’s not looking, but Donghyuck doesn’t miss them.

He says it’s his friends, it’s the dreamies group chat—it always _is_ them. But they don’t seem to believe it.

It’s Johnny who asks the question, between one schedule and another while they’re inside the bus and Donghyuck has nowhere to hide in the last row, trapped between him and Yuta who’s on the window seat.

“Are you messing around with Jungwoo or Mark?” Johnny asks, his face void of any expression, and his tone light with no judgment on it, just low enough for only him to hear.

“W-What? No?!” Donghyuck splutters. “What even—hyung, I’m not—”

“No?” Johnny interrupts him, asking for confirmation.

“No,” Donghyuck assures, shaking his head. He stares at Johnny’s eyes. “I swear, I’d—”

“If you’re having any problems you know you can come to any of us, right?”

Donghyuck nods his head. “Yes, yes, hyung, I know—”

“Good. Ok. I thought something might be happening. That’s good then.”

An obvious weight has been lifted from Johnny’s shoulder, but Donghyuck feels like his heart’s going to beat itself out of his chest, his stomach turning uncomfortably. Johnny moves his head and faces the other side, engaging another member in a conversation. The talk obviously finished and Donghyuck grabs his own phone tight.

**hyuck:** johnny-hyung just asked me if im fucking jungwoo-hyung or mark

 **jeno:** ?

 **jaemin:** what happened?

 **hyuck:** i told u they’re getting suspicious of smth i think this might have been his intervention

 **renjun:** should we stop texting u until u get back then?

 **hyuck:** fuck no  
**hyuck:** i’d go insane  
**hyuck:** im just worried that they might not drop this and end up finding smth out

 **renjun:** what would u do if u slipped and they found out?  
**renjun:** u need to have plans in case smth happens

 **hyuck:** idk i think i’d just implode if they asked about u guys

 **jaemin:** what do you want to do, hyuckie?

 **hyuck:** idk  
**hyuck:** i honestly have no idea what to do rn

 **jeno:** i support whatever decision you wanna take, hyuck. you’re the one with them right now and knows best. if you wanna hide and deny everything or come clean, whatever you decide, it’s okay for me. i don’t care.

 **jaemin:** jeno… you know this would affect our relationship with the hyungs, right? and you’re so close to some of them… are you sure about that?

 **jeno:** yes.

 **renjun:** i wont deny that it’s scary but… whatever yall want i’m okay with it… i care about our relationship first and fuck whatever anyone thinks about this  
**renjun:** ofc it’d fucking sucks that we can’t talk in a way we chose but idc about their opinion

 **hyuck:** … jaemin?

 **jaemin:** i don’t know. it’s scary because we’re talking about something we have no control over. the ideal would be that we could talk with them, if we decided we want to, and in our own time.  
**jaemin:** even though it’s a hypothetical situation… it’s scary because it might come true when we least expect it… i’m terrified of what might happen, but i also know that if we’re together, we can overcome everything.

 **jeno:** what do you want to do, hyuck?

 **hyuck** : idk idk idk  
**hyuck:** i just want to be sure of where we stand and what my options can be with whatever happens  
**hyuck:** i dont want to fuck anything up

 **renjun:** you wont, hyuck. you wont

 **jaemin:** if anything happens, we’re here. if nothing happens, we’re here. we love you, hyuckie. keep yourself safe first, okay?  
**jaemin:** we can talk more about this later if someone says anything else and then we see.

 **jeno:** we will support whatever you decide to do.

 **hyuck:** god i dont deserve any of u

 **renjun:** shut the fuck up hyuck ofc u do  
**renjun:** no bad thoughts open hours now ok?

 **hyuck:** lmao sure

 **jeno:** <3

“Are you feeling better today?” A voice says from his side and Donghyuck locks his phone, looking towards Yuta’s smiley face.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, cool. What time is it, by the way? My phone is dead.”

Donghyuck clicks a button, the phone flashing his generic lockscreen of a sunset.

“3:45 pm,” he says, showing the screen towards Yuta.

And then his finger slips down a little, unlocking his phone.

“Ohhh, cute~ where is this from?” Yuta asks, getting closer to the screen.

“What?” Donghyuck says, confused about why Yuta was talking like that about a generic sunset picture.

“You dreamies are so cute~” Yuta coos and takes the phone from Donghyuck’s grasp, shoving the phone in Johnny’s face. “Look how cute they are, Johnny!”

Donghyuck is mortified, his heart beating fast. He’s gonna die, he’s so fucking gonna die. He watches the members pass his phone between themselves, some commenting while others don’t say anything, but mutter sweetly. Mark throws him a worried gaze over his shoulder and Donghyuck is _so_ ready for the sweet release of death.

“Awww~” Jungwoo coos and gives the phone back to him; Donghyuck holds the device in a shaky grip. “So adorable. Is that a recent picture?”

Donghyuck locks the phone again, making sure that the screen was really black and focuses on Jungwoo, ignoring the looks of the other members.

“Yeah… I think it’s a little before we left for the tour? Not really sure, though,” he answers weakly.

“So sweet! Send me the picture later, please! I want to save it”

Donghyuck nods his head though with no intention of following that.

His phone is sweaty on his palm, a headache already forming and he’s afraid, so afraid to say or do something that might trigger something bigger. He’s overthinking everything, he knows that, but can’t make himself stop.

For a few seconds he thinks of changing his background picture, but then throws the idea away, the image he had stared for so long flashing in his mind — four boys embracing each other, smiling towards the camera, Renjun caught in an open-mouthed laugh, eyes squinted close, Jeno landing a kiss on a smiley Jaemin and Donghyuck laying his head on Jaemin’s shoulder, the smudge of Chenle’s finger in the right corner of the photo and the blur of Jisung running away in the background, his back to the scene.

* * *

The end of the world comes five hours later.

Donghyuck decides not to talk about the incident in the group chat. He doesn’t want to worry them and himself—he doesn’t even want to _think_ about the incident.

They’re back on the bus, having finished the last performance of the day, tiredness weighing their bones down. Donghyuck has an airpod in one ear, the other lost somewhere in his pocket, a mellow playlist in the background when he receives a notification from the group chat.

It’s an audio from Jaemin and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate before clicking play, the soft voice of Jaemin playing in his ear, “ _God, Hyuckie, you won’t believe what just happened right now. I swear that Jisung is trying to kill me from stress! I was right there in the kitchen, trying to cook something then he comes in running and I’m on the floor! I was like ‘Jisung, what even…?’ and then there’s a_ cat _walking in the kitchen, an_ unknown cat _. And I asked him what was happening and Chenle comes inside_ — _ah, he’s here because they’re watching something later_ — _with_ two cats _on his arms. TWO. And now I’m freaking out because Jeno hasn’t taken any of his allergy medicines and there are three cats in the dorm and my food is starting to burn, but then Renjun screams from his bedroom about a cat on his bed and Jeno comes running from his room and the doorbell is ringing…_ ” 

There’s a pause and Jaemin sighs. “ _Jisungie took the kittens from the hallway thinking they had been abandoned but they just escaped from next door while the owners were getting their food downstairs and now Jeno’s starting to sneeze and Jisungie is trying not to cry because he apparently bonded with one of the cats, but I can’t even talk because I forgot about the food and Injunnie comes running and tries to put it off, but the alarms have been triggered and there’s water everywhere and Jeno and Chenle and Injunnie are jumping and waving towels trying to make the smoke go away and stop the water but I’m trying to take the cats from Jisung and give them back to the owner._ ” He sighs again. “ _Anyway, he gave them back and promised to visit them soon. The food is burnt, we’re waiting for some to be delivered soon. Injunnie and Jeno are trying to wipe the floor and Chenle is an angel, I tell you_ — _he’s scrapping the pan, trying to save it, but honestly, I think it’s gonna have to go..."_

Donghyuck pauses the audio, there’s just a little more to go, and he tries to suppress a laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but grabs Taeyong’s attention on his side. The older boy arches an eyebrow and Donghyuck pushes his airpod in Taeyong’s ear, failing to hold his giggles.

“Jisung just smuggled cats in the dorm making Jaemin burn the food and everything’s flooded now. Just listen, hyung!” And he rewinds the audio, pressing play.

Taeyong’s expression was one of calculated apprehension — one very common when the topic is chaos and Dream’s members, and Donghyuck can’t wait to see what his reaction will be. Taeil turns his body, looking to the boys in the seat behind him.

“Jisung smuggled cats in?” he asks, laughing loudly.

Donghyuck nods his head, grinning. “He thought they had been abandoned and brought them inside with Chenle, but they had escaped from next door.” He watches Taeyong’s expression, seeing how the edges of his lips were curling slightly, biting down on a smile. He’s glad he made Taeyong listen to that and brought at least a moment of relief to him— he’d been too tense and working too hard lately.

“But—what about Jeno’s allergy?” Doyoung asks from a seat behind him.

“God, I don’t know how they haven’t demolished the entire dorm by now,” Johnny says.

Taeyong taps his arm but Donghyuck focuses on Johnny, kneeling on the seat and turning his body in the direction of the older.

“I’m saying that for ages! One day I’m gonna go back and everything’s gonna be gone and it won’t be a surprise—-”

Taeyong shoves the airpod in his hand, ears red and flush going down his neck.

“Wha—”

“I don’t think I was supposed to hear all of that, Hyuck. Be careful,” he says, avoiding eye contact and fidgeting on the seat.

Donghyuck frowns, pushing the airpod in and clicking play, flash forwarding and ignoring the looks he’s receiving. The happy and calm atmosphere was gone and Donghyuck hates not knowing what happened.

“... _I tell you_ — _he’s scrapping the pan, trying to save it, but honestly, I think it’s gonna have to go… But it’s okay, it’s okay. We can just buy another or whatever. But, goddamn Hyuck, you would have loved being here to see that.”_ Jaemin’s voice releases a loud laugh. “ _Jeno had a white tight shirt and I’m telling you, Injunnie was like, two seconds away from dropping to his knees right there, but I know you wouldn’t have been able to resist. Jeno’s been hitting the gym a lot since you’ve gone on tour, you’re gonna be so surprised~ anyway, miss you and hope you’re okay! Ah_ — _Injunnie is telling me to tell you that you haven’t replied to his video yet even though he used that weird dildo you like and that he won’t send you anything else if you keep ignoring him! Please, go give him attention so he will stop bugging me! Call me when you’re free, baby~ Byeeee~_ mwah _.”_ He finishes with lots of kissy sounds.

There are two seconds of pure nothing where Donghyuck thinks that maybe it isn’t that bad, but then—ice fills his body and he freezes, turning to Taeyong, eyes prickling with tears though he doesn’t know exactly _why_.

“Hyung—” he starts, not knowing what to even say in a situation like that.

Taeyong interrupts him with a hand, avoiding eye contact, ears still red. “No—no—we can talk later, just—”

There’s nothing to be said right now, not with so many inquiring eyes and ears. Donghyuck nods defeatedly, head low, and body tense. He lowers the brightness on his phone until nothing, fingers typing desperately, mindful of Taeyong’s gaze on him.

**hyuck:** im sorry taeyong-hyung heard the audio and he wont look at me but he said we’ll talk later  
**hyuck:** i just wanted him to hear about the cats i hadnt listened to all the audio im sorry i should have 

**renjun:** u didnt know it wasnt ur fault stop

 **jaemin:** i’m so sorry, hyuck. i’m so so so sorry. i should have warned you, i’m sorry.  
**jaemin:** we talked about this and i forgot to warn about the audio 

**jeno:** this is no one’s fault. don’t feel guilty about something you have no control over.

 **hyuck:** the hyungs are looking confused they wanna ask but are afraid  
**hyuck:** idk what to do i think i fucked up

 **renjun:** u didnt fuck up hyuck u did nothing wrong  
**renjun:** do u want me to call u

 **hyuck:** nonononon  
**hyuck:** not right now

 **jaemin:** i’m so sorry hyuck, i’m sorry, i didn’t want to complicate things there

 **hyuck:** it’s not ur fault jaemin stop

 **jeno:** are you sure you don’t want us to call you, hyuck?

 **hyuck:** no. should i try to talk with taeyong-hyung now? should i say smth? what do i do?

 **jeno:** do you want to do something?

 **hyuck:** idk what would be the best thing rn

 **renjun:** take a deep breath hyuck try to clear ur mind a little before doing anything  
**renjun:** u dont wanna do smth u might regret

“So… Are we just going to ignore that?” Johnny asks.

Donghyuck doesn’t move from his position, though he locks his phone and holds it tight in his fist. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself, and not lose control.

“Taeyong-hyung,” he starts, moving to look at the older, but Taeyong turns his head to face the other side.

“Not now, Donghyuck.”

It stings to be called that, his full name, in an emotionless tone, being left without knowing what the older thinks, what he feels. He imagines how confused Taeyong might be, but Donghyuck doesn’t like being lost, not knowing where he stands.

“B-but…”

“Donghyuck,” Taeyong snaps, his gaze hard, looking intently at Donghyuck before turning his head to the side again. “Not _now._ ”

“Okay,” Johnny says, interrupting. “Is something bad happening?”

“Youngho,” Taeyong’s voice is harsh and final.

“No, hyung,” Donghyuck mumbles, avoiding looking at Johnny, knowing that he would have a concerned gaze and Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he would be able to contain his words. He looks to the front of the bus, catching Jungwoo’s concerned face, and he feels tears rushing to his eyes again, not being able to catch them before they fall.

“There’s obviously something _not_ okay going on. What the fuck happened?”

“Hyuck… Hyuck… Is…” Jungwoo’s voice is tentative, as if trying not to scare off a panicked animal, but the question dies before he can even voice it.

“Hey. Hyuck...” Mark says softly.

“Guys—” Taeyong starts to say again, but Doyoung cuts him off, “At least tell us if it’s something bad and we should be concerned.”

Taeyong hesitates and Donghyuck swipes clean his cheeks, mind going in all directions with Taeyong’s silence. _Was he going to get kicked off? Would they ship him off to Korea now? Would the company get involved?_

Yuta, sitting by Donghyuck’s left side, grips his knee, squeezing it to bring a sense of comfort. Donghyuck feels nothing.

“We... can discuss this later on… back at the hotel,” Taeyong says, his voice cracking.

“It’s nothing bad,” Jungwoo announces, all attention turning to him. He sends a smile to Donghyuck, all warm and sad at once. “It isn’t bad. Don’t cry, Hyuckie.”

By saying that it feels as if the gates have been open, for tears are trying to compete with each other and race down on his face. He tries to hold back a sob and wheezes pitifully.

“Oh,” Mark says, voice rumbling. “ _Oh_.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun claps his hands, trying to defuse the tension. “Okay, everyone.”

“It’s obvious that some people know what happened,” Johnny continues to say. “What even…”

“Maybe we should do this back at the hotel?” Taeil says from the side.

“I’m… I’m…” Donghyuck tries to talk, voice breaking.

“ _Donghyuck_ ,” Taeyong cuts him off immediately.

“Stop cutting him off! If he wants to talk now, let him. Don’t let us all in the dark, Taeyong,” Johnny says, uncharacteristically sharp. “If this involves the members than it does affect us all and we deserve to know too.”

“It does affect _us all_ , so that’s why we should talk _later_ ,” Taeyong hisses.

Donghyuck grabs Yuta’s hand on his knee and squeezes it tight. “I-I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Hyuck. Do not apologize,” Jungwoo says from across the bus.

Yuta makes an inquisitive noise and whispers next to Donghyuck’s ear, “Are… Are you okay, Hyuck?”

Donghyuck turns to the older, eyes brimming with tears. “I’m sorry… It… It just happened, hyung…”

“ _Donghyuck,”_ Taeyong’s voice reaches him and he stops, still looking at Yuta, gripping his hand tight.

“ _Taeyong-hyung_ ,” Jungwoo snaps back, eyes hard, and an edge in his voice. “Stop. Please.”

“Do not involve yourself in this, Jungwoo.”

“I’m one of the most involved in this, hyung. Do not tell me what I should or not do.”

The silence was thick after Jungwoo’s confession. Taeil breathes loudly and Doyoung whispers a “ _what the fuck”_.

“Jungwoo-hyung, don’t…”

Yuta interrupts Donghyuck, pointing to the phone on his lap. “Your phone is ringing. Jeno’s calling.”

Donghyuck gasps, trying not to start crying again, hands trembling and denying the call. 

“Won’t… won’t you talk to him? He’s your friend, maybe… maybe you can calm yourself a little…” Taeil starts to suggest, but Donghyuck shakes his head.

“No, no—”

The phone starts ringing again and Mark sticks his hand over the seats. “Do you want me to talk with him?”

Donghyuck shoves the phone in his hands, not caring if it fell on the floor. “Don’t…” He starts, but Mark was already accepting the call and holding the phone over his ear.

“Hi, Jeno, it’s Mark… No… Yeah, kinda right now… No, no, it’s okay… Hmmm… No, just try to calm him down… Yeah, we’ll talk with you later… No, no… Don’t worry, don’t worry… No, I don’t think that right no—okay, okay…” A small pause and then, “Yes, Injunnie, I heard that… I know. Ok. Ok. Until later,” and clicks off. He gives the phone back to Donghyuck and mumbles an “it’s okay.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know the context of that “it’s okay”, if it’s a hopeful comment, if it means he won’t be kicked off and shipped away in the next minute, if his boyfriends are trying to console him or just a random thing to make him calm down.

“Mark,” Taeil says. “Please. What—”

“It’s not my place, hyung,” Mark cuts him off. “Really, I can’t just…” he sighs deeply, hand brushing his hair. “But it’s not _bad._ It’s not bad.”

“Mark,” Taeyong says.

“It’s _really_ not something awful,” Mark promises, trying to convince the other members.

“If it’s not something bad,” Doyoung says, voice just a tad of desperate. “Then why are you all avoiding it? Why being so vague and just… just circling and… not saying _anything_?”

“It’s complicated,” Jungwoo answers. “Especially if you don’t know the story. It’s not… It’s not easy to just go and say. It involves too many people, too many things.”

“This doesn’t make it any easier!” Doyoung exclaims, frustration lacing every word that leaves his mouth.

Donghyuck rubs his face hard. “I… I…” he looks at Jungwoo, finding him with only warmth on his gaze. They nod at each other and Donghyuck sighs deeply. “Tae-Taeyong’s right… We should talk… later… when… _alone_ …” he enunciates the last word, a pointed look towards the managers on the front of the bus. Too many people involved would only be bad.

Doyoung sighs loudly. “Okay, Hyuckie… If that’s what you prefer. Just—just tell me: is anyone sick?”

“W-what—no, hyung…”

“Does… does it involve any other member?”

Silence. He grips Yuta’s hand tighter.

“Okay… Huh… Is anyone hurt?”

“No…”

“Does… does it involve the dreamies?”

Silence.

“That’s why they called you?”

A nod.

“Do they need any kind of help?”

“N-no, hyung…”

“Okay, okay. They aren’t in any kind of danger, right?”

“No…”

“Okay… Has… Has this been happening for… a while?”

Silence. A nod. Yuta releases a wheeze when Donghyuck’s grip gets tighter, prompting the younger to let go of his hand, but Yuta grabs and turns his hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing his hand.

“But nothing bad, right…?”

Silence and then, “N-no,” Donghyuck says, a little more loudly, with a little more of force.

Doyoung nods his head, satisfied with the answers he received, and leans back on the seat, his body still tense.

There are only five minutes of tense silence before Yuta jumps out of his seat, eyes wide and looking at Donghyuck. He grasps both of his hands, holding them tight against his chest, looking deep into his eyes.

“You trust your hyung, right, Hyuckie?” He says, words carefully worded out, tone neutral. 

Donghyuck freezes in his seat, heart beating fast, breaths not quite making it. “Y-yes, hyung.”

Donghyuck can feel the burning gaze of other members, the questions on the tip of their tongues but not quite making it. Jungwoo mutters a “Yuta-hyung” but is ignored.

Yuta licks his lips, nervous. He brings his face closer to Donghyuck’s, muttering low, “Are… are you involved with one of the dreamies?”

Donghyuck bits his lips tight, eyes watering. He nods his head and Yuta releases all the air in his body.

“It’s okay, Hyuckie… It’s okay…” he whispers warmly, but Donghyuck shakes his head.

“It’s not… one…”

Yuta cocks his head to the side, but then realization draws on his face, eyes widening even more. “Oh… It’s…?”

But before Donghyuck can say anything, Yuta opens his mouth in shock, mouth slurring out lowly, “Your phone… Is... ?” He doesn’t have the courage to name them and Donghyuck doesn’t have the heart to deny.

“Y-yeah…” he breathes, eyes misty with the tears. “We... four…”

And then Yuta gasps loudly and Donghyuck _understands_ that Yuta probably thought that they had been messing around with each other, probably some cheating and drama involved—and not in that _other_ way.

“Oh,” Yuta says. “ _Oh._ ”

Donghyuck lowers his head but Yuta’s grip in his hands tightens, bringing his attention to him. “Hyuck. Hyuckie. I love you, you know that, right? Will always love you.”

He doesn’t reply, doesn’t have the strength anymore, the knowledge he will have to go through later fresh on his mind, the feeling of wanting to run making his stomach turn. Donghyuck nods his head, bringing one of their hands to his cheek and he holds it there, eyes closed and breaths deep.

He can make it, they’ll make it.

* * *

The end of the world lasts a long time.

Nobody tries to talk with him anymore on the bus, and when they arrive at the hotel, Donghyuck runs out of the bus, Jungwoo hot on his heels. Doyoung calls for him, but he goes as fast as he can to his room, allowing Jungwoo to slip inside the bedroom and shuts himself in the bathroom. He lowers himself to the floor, back to the door and legs to his chest.

He takes a deep breath, eyes unfocused on the toilet in front of him. He focuses on that—breathing in and out and in and out and in and out—

He fishes his phone from his pocket. There’s a dozen missed calls and notifications, a lot of messages on the group chat.

**hyuck:** locked in the bathroom rn they’ll come and we will talk  
**hyuck:** yuta knows and didn’t freaked out at least

 **jaemin:** i’m so sorry you’re going through this alone, hyuck. we love you so so so so much. it doesn’t matter what happens later, just know this, okay? can i call you?

 **hyuck:** not right now or else i’d probably chicken out  
**hyuck:** i love you

 **jeno:** remember that you’re not alone there. you can count on jungwoo-hyung and mark-hyung.

 **renjun:** pls dont hesitate to call us or go away pls take care of yourself hyuckie pls we love u pls be safe

 **hyuck:** im sorry that im basically outing you all  
**hyuck:** im sorry that i wasnt careful enough

 **jeno:** hyuck

There’s a knock on the door and Jungwoo’s voice sounds soft, “They’re gonna come here, but Yuta-hyung and Mark are already here. Can I come in for a moment?”

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, unlocking the door and Jungwoo slips inside quickly, closing it behind him. He opens his arms and enlaces Donghyuck in a safe hug before he can even realize what’s happening.

Donghyuck just breathes, holding Jungwoo tight, face pressed on his shoulder and eyes closed. Jungwoo’s hand treading on his hair is a welcome comforting touch.

“I love you, Hyuck,” he says, voice resounding against his chest. “And it doesn’t matter what they say or what happens—nothing will change that. I’ll be by your side all the time, okay? I _love_ you.”

“Thank you, Jungwoo-hyung… And I’m sorry that you’re involved in this…” he chokes out, throat burning.

“Nothing of that, Hyuck. I love you and I just want you to be safe and happy, okay?” Jungwoo releases him, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead. “When you’re ready we can go out there, okay? Mark was going to talk a little with them before, to prepare them.”

Donghyuck nods his head, clinging to Jungwoo for a little more until he stands up straight, rubbing his eyes. “God,” he mutters. “I’m a mess today, am I not?” he smiles sadly.

Jungwoo just looks warmly at him, eyes soft. “No, Hyuckie. You’re so brave. You have no idea how. They’ll understand—and if they don’t, they have no idea how an amazing person you are and what an earth-shattering relationship they’re missing out. Remember that your boys love you and we’re going to be there with you. You’re not alone, okay?”

“Yes, hyung… Thank you… You have no idea how…” and he chokes out again, avoiding his eyes.

Jungwoo smiles a little, hands fanning Donghyuck’s bangs before lowering his arm. “It’s nothing, Hyuckie.”

He tries to gather himself for a while, before leaning closer to the door and trying to listen through it.

“Do you think they are all here?” he asks.

“Do you want me to go see?”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Donghyuck confesses.

“I’ll just put my head out, okay?” Donghyuck nods. Jungwoo opens the door a little, head going out and he comes back. “Most of them. Just missing Jaehyun. Do you wanna go now?”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah. Let’s just end this now. Better than drag too much,” Donghyuck says, eyebrows furrowed and mouth dry.

When they leave the bathroom, Donghyuck has to blink twice before realizing that the weight on his chest is Doyoung who had thrown himself over him, holding him tight in a hug and babbling fast over his ear, “I love you, Hyuckie. You know that, right? I don’t care what you say now, I don’t care even if you killed someone and wants us to hide the body. I love you, okay? I’m joking when I say that Jeno is my favorite, I love all of you. Okay? Okay?”

A wet cough comes from Doyoung and Donghyuck tries to lift Doyoung away from him, wiping across the older’s face. “Hyung, hyung. It’s okay. We know you love Jeno the most. It’s okay. I love you, too. Don’t cry, hyung. Please.”

“You didn’t say anything about the body. I hope there’s none,” Johnny says gently, trying to break the tension in the room. Donghyuck sees that the members are sitting on his and Taeil’s bed, looking nervous and fidgeting. Doyoung releases him and cards a hand on his hair, brushing Donghyuck’s strands and fussing with the collar of his shirt.

“There’s no body,” Donghyuck says faintly. He gingerly holds Doyoung’s hands and pries them away from his shirt, lowering them. “It’s okay, hyung,” he says and Doyoung nods, breathing loudly.

“Calm down, Doyoung,” Taeil says, lying down on his own bed. “You’ll end up making him nervous.”

Donghyuck bits his lower lip and looks at Jungwoo. The older holds his arm and drags him to the end of Taeil’s bed, sitting next to him, looking at the members.

“Hi,” Donghyuck says meekly, eyes focusing on the bed, fingers playing with the loose threads in the sheets. He gets no answer back besides some humming and murmurs of his name. “I don’t know how to—how to start this.”

There’s a beep from the door and Jaehyun walks inside, the room card in his hand. He looks sheepishly around the room and gives the room card to Taeil. “I just talked with the managers and they won’t be bothering us tonight.”

“Why don’t you start then?” Doyoung asks sharply, turning to face Taeyong.

Taeyong presses his face against his hand and exhales deeply, body tight with tension. He looks Donghyuck squarely in the eye. “Please, you do understand that I have nothing against you, right, Hyuck? This isn’t a personal attack, a vendetta or anything to voluntarily makes you feel bad. But do you understand why this worries me? If anything gets out—if anyone gets wind of this… I think you and them know that better than anyone else, but... you also understand that it wouldn’t stop just with you and it would involve all of us, right?”

Donghyuck presses his lips in a tight line. He knows that the entire group would be prosecuted and _they_ would be bolted off. They had had enough conversations in the middle of the night, enough tears had already been shed and whispered confessions shared.

“Yes, hyung, I—we know that. We _do_ ,” he emphasizes the word. They know the dangerous game they’re playing. “But—you also understand why I couldn’t just—just,” he stumbles through the words, his tongue feeling heavy and takes a deep breath. Jungwoo grasps Donghyuck’s hand in his own, holding it firmly, grounding him. “You know there’s no easy way to talk about that. I couldn’t just dump all of this over you when you’re laying down on bed—what could we even do? Round everyone in the living room and just announces anything as if I’m updating you on a schedule?” He says mockingly.

“Yes,” Taeyong says and Donghyuck bites the inside of his cheeks, trying to keep calm. “Yes. You could do that. Or not. You have the choice to say and do whatever you want, but you need to remember that we’re in a group _together_ and you’re not messing only with your future. You said this has been going for a while—I’m not saying you gotta get up and announce two seconds after getting serious, but you had enough time to digest and choose either to talk with us or not.”

“It’s not easy,” Donghyuck says after a pause.

“I know it isn’t—”

“No, hyung, you _don’t know._ And it doesn’t include only me. It’s not only about me. You know that. I could be ready in two seconds, as you said, but—it’s not all about me.”

Taeyong nods his head though he doesn’t look content. 

“I… I understand.”

“Guys…” Taeil says tentatively, getting up from his laying down position and sitting up. “It’s great you seem to be getting along and are understanding each other but… Honestly, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it only me?” He asks looking around. Some of the boys shake his head, but Taeil looks at Yuta who was quiet, only watching Donghyuck. “Wait—Yuta, do you know anything? You seemed lost earlier but now you…”

“Yeah, I talked with Hyuck on the bus,” he says. Donghyuck avoids looking at anyone but Taeyong who’s sporting a pitied expression on his face.

“Hyuck,” Taeyong says. “It’s with you now. I won’t force you, but I also can’t allow us not to talk about this with everyone.”

“So, basically, I’m being forced but without direct orders,” Donghyuck looks to Mark who gives him a nod, jaw tight and shoulders tense. “Ah, I really didn’t expect to go like that. I really imagined it would happen in an easy-going way and everyone would laugh and it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

He looks at Taeil, one member who Donghyuck cares about so much and would hate if anything bad happened with their relationship. He looks at Doyoung who loves Jeno _so much_ and is always dotting on him. He would hate for anything to change, but—he had no choice. He had no _fucking_ choice but to out his boyfriends who, yeah, might have given him the go-ahead sign but, still, they weren’t ready. They hadn’t chosen this.

Donghyuck feels incredibly alone being in that room, with eight gazes upon him. He feels as if he was stripping himself bare and leaving it to be judged by the closest people he loved and respected. Jungwoo grips his hand tighter.

“I’m in a relationship,” Donghyuck says. His gaze is trained on the bed, on the feeling of Jungwoo’s hand holding his own tightly.

There’s some intakes of breath, a gasp. But nothing major. It isn’t strange, a relationship. Maybe a little abnormal for he was still young, not too old in the industry to be free to pursue one publicly but still… not awful.

“Okay…” Doyoung hesitantly says. “And we know that person?”

It’s easier to answer questions than to bring himself to create a sentence, direct his own narrative. Answering makes it less personal. It hurts a lot less.

“Yes...” Donghyuck answers.

Taeil leans closer to Donghyuck’s body and Donghyuck sees the motion from the corner of his eye. “Is it one of the dreamies?”

Someone inhales sharply and another one chokes. There’s the sound of pats on the back. Donghyuck thinks about the picture on his phone—such a simple thing that maybe people had seen lots of time but it had gathered interest this time—and the messages that surely were waiting for him when he went back to it later. About three boys far away from him who would welcome him with open arms.

“Yes and—”

“Is it Jaemin?” Taeil cuts him off. “I thought—the video—”

“What video?” Jaehyun asks.

Donghyuck closes his eyes tight, shaking his head. “No—I mean, yes—but… It’s Jaemin, but it’s also Jeno. And Renjun. It’s all four of us together and it’s been for a while. Kinda a long time, actually. Yeah… Yeah.”

After he says that for the first time, he realizes how easy it had been. Just a slip of the tongue and it was out in the world. Barely made a difference and still—

The loud beating of his heart makes him almost temporarily deaf, but he still catches the shocked gasps and confused noises.

“W-what…?” Taeil croaks out, voice confused and breaking. “I-I don’t think I understand what—”

It’s Jungwoo who comes to clean the mess. Donghyuck feels himself shaking and he tries to calm himself. “Do you know about polyamory?” Jungwoo says, voice airy and grip still tight. Donghyuck doesn’t have the courage to lift his head and see the reactions of the older members. Jungwoo rambles a bit about polyamory, trying his best to clean the mood, talking about what he had read online until Donghyuck pats him on the thigh to stop. He wonders if anyone understood anything at all after being showered in so much information in so little time.

“It’s just like a normal relationship,” Mark adds. “But just with… more people?” He finishes uncertainly. “Anyway. Yeah. It’s okay. Nothing crazy.”

“For how long you knew about it?” Taeyong asks. Donghyuck would bet that Mark was probably flushing red right now.

“Uhh…” Mark stammers. “A while? Almost, like, two years, I think? Jungwoo-hyung is the one who knew first.”

“Yes,” Jungwoo says proudly. “I was the one who helped them get together. Realize their feelings. A true cupid, you might say.”

“You… you helped them get together?” Jaehyun asks.

“I was tired of seeing them dancing around each other and all the hesitancy. So I talked with them and… yeah. It happened.”

“Hyuck,” Taeil suddenly says and he crawls closer to him. His hands grip Donghyuck’s free hand. “Hyuck,” he repeats in a pleading tone and Donghyuck can’t ignore him. He looks up, choking at seeing the older with tears in his eyes. “Are you happy?”

It’s such a simple question and that it entailed so much that Donghyuck can’t hold the sob from getting out of his chest. “Yes,” he breathes, not even knowing if they can hear what he says or just reading his lips. “ _Yes._ ”

If there was one thing he was certain in his life would be that. He was happier when together with them. When complete with them.

“Okay,” Taeil says, nodding his head, voice shaky and fingers trembling, but still holding his hand. His gaze scans Donghyuck’s face and he doesn’t move back to his place, hand still shaking but warm. Donghyuck wants to drown in his comforting aura but he’s afraid of what might still happen, what is unsaid.

“Is everything okay, then?” Mark asks. Bless that awkward boy who can manage to turn a situation even more awkward, Donghyuck thinks. Even then—bless that boy, who stays by his side whatever the situation may be.

Taeyong sighs and returns to talking when it seems like no one will answer. “Well, it’s a very complicated situation, Hyuck. Can you see my side? If word goes out, what will happen? A gay relationship between the members and… in an unusual way,” he says cautiously. “I don’t want to sound like I don’t approve of this or anything like this—even because you don’t need my consent. It’s more about the way on how this could affect all of us and… you know you and the boys would receive the end of the stick. We don’t know what the management might do—they might want to kick all of you out and—and also the reaction of netizens, of the fans… I fear that this might turn into a witch hunt and I would hate for any of you to go through that.”

Jungwoo opens his mouth to speak, but Donghyuck squeezes his hand and turns to look at him. Jungwoo gives an imperceptible nod and Donghyuck takes a breath.

“Yes, hyung, I understand your fears but… Any relationship that _any_ of us might have will be scrutinized by everyone… we know that. We _know_ that. Still… does that mean we can never get close to anyone because of that? That we just get to give and give and give and never get to also receive?" He rakes a hand through his hair and fixes his gaze on Taeyong. "I'm sorry, I'm getting kinda out of track. What I mean is: we know this is unusual, we know it's dangerous, still we decided to go forward, to not give up because we care too much about each other. We decided to deal with the problems as they come—if they come. It doesn't make sense to worry and lose something like that because of fear of the unknown. It's… A big risk, but it's one we chose to take.

Donghyuck, then, looks at his other members for the first time. They're mostly serious, watching him talk, but Donghyuck also isn't trying to read their expressions, read more than what is in the open. "I'm sorry," he continues, "that this might end up blowing up on our faces and that you might even get involved in it—but I'm not sorry for loving them and being in a relationship. I won't apologize for that."

Yuta licks his lips and inhales. "We don't want you to feel bad for… for being in a relationship, Hyuckie. It's okay, at least we're now on the same page and… it's understandable why you haven't come to us and talked about that as soon as it seemed to get serious. I get it. It must not have been easy," a smile blooms on his face and Donghyuck is taken back by it, for it's not a pitiful smile or a scorning one like he was waiting for, but a wide and warm smile. It feels like home. "You've worried a lot, right?" He asks and leaps out of bed, arms open.

Yuta hugs Donghyuck tight, half lying over him — and in consequence Jungwoo —, but Donghyuck wouldn't trade it for anything. Jungwoo makes a happy noise in the back of his throat by his side and releases his hand, allowing Donghyuck to embrace Yuta tight and rest his face on his shoulder, breathing deeply.

"Thank you, Yuta-hyung," Donghyuck mumbles, voice muffled by the older's clothes. Yuta just hums and holds him tighter. "You have no idea how glad I am for having you as a hyung."

There's a hand carding through his hair and when Donghyuck looks up he sees Jaehyun looking fondly down at him. "I don't know much and might make mistakes," he says, "but I support you and always want the best for you. You don't need to hurt anymore."

Donghyuck doesn't know when tears started to stream down his face again, but this time they're happy ones. It's a scary thing to let yourself be so open and vulnerable, but Donghyuck knows that if it wasn't with these men, he wouldn't allow himself to open himself like this with anyone else. It brings a sense of relief to let himself like that — no secrets, nothing to worry about trying to hide. It's scary, but it's also freeing.

They talk for hours. Huddled under the blankets and close enough to share body heat, Donghyuck tells the story of how everything started (with the help and point of view of Jungwoo who had some _interesting_ observations). Donghyuck can see that some of them aren't very sure about the revelations of that night, but just them being there, listening to him, it's a start and room for improvement, for growth.

Somewhere in the middle, the conversation turns and they're talking about anything else, laughter bouncing from the walls and stomachs cramping. Wiping tears of laughter from the corner of his eyes, Donghyuck suddenly remembers that he left his boyfriends worried on the other side of the globe and whisks his phone, grinning over the retelling of Johnny and a dream that he had.

Jungwoo is sitting on his right side, their knees bumping into each other but the older has his head turned to Johnny and Taeyong who are with their backs propped up on the walls. Yuta has his head leaning on Donghyuck's left shoulder, and when Donghyuck unlocks his phone and opens the app, he doesn't dim the brightness or moves the device away, knowing that Yuta can see everything on the screen. He doesn't have anything left to hide.

The background of his chatting app is a photo from years ago, taken when they were just a few months in the relationship: Renjun has his back to the camera, but Jaemin is hugging his left side and kissing his cheek, while Jeno is on the other side, face tucked away on Renjun’s neck; Donghyuck’s right there in the background, almost a blur with how fast he was moving at that time and, if he closes his eyes, he can almost remember the scene vividly—the slamming of his body against Renjun’s and they all falling on the floor, laughs echoing inside the room and Jisung complaining about them on the other side of the camera.

Yuta makes a happy noise when he sees the picture, the app still loading the messages. Donghyuck scrolls quickly through what was unread, making a mental note to read them later.

**hyuck:** hey sorry it took so long  
**hyuck:** everything's okay and we're now just chatting. i think that most of them took it well, though they're confused but lol that was expected  
**hyuck:** ttyl

Yuta doesn't say anything, just buries his face on Donghyuck's neck, quietly humming an unknown tone.

* * *

The rebuild of the world—or just its rebirth, really—is entirely too boring for Donghyuck.

He had imagined he would be the subject of various questions, doubts raised anywhere and anytime, the need to retell his story many and many times.

But the reality is entirely different. Besides some random small questions, he's left alone and unbothered by the members.

He says this to his boyfriends, surprised that they're left alone and no one is minding on their business. He had thought that everything would be scrutinized and they'd have to follow some kind of plan or guideline but… the freedom they receive makes Donghyuck worry that something bigger might be coming.

It's when there's just one more week of promotions until they'll go back home that Donghyuck cracks.

The hotel bedroom has the lights dimmed, just bright enough for allowing Taeil to read his English book — the one that he seemed to have made no progress whatsoever — and Donghyuck is restless. He turns and turns in bed, opening a random video, going to sns, opening an article, starting to chat with random members, going back to a video. He feels on edge, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

(Renjun texted him, after his third rant in one day, that maybe, _maybe,_ the members are giving them space because they're adults in a relationship and that's what people do. Give them space and don’t pry on private affairs. But Donghyuck ignored him and continued his rant, being kicked off the group chat before even finishing his messages. Jeno added him back later.)

Donghyuck sighs, locking his phone and putting it away under his pillow, turning on his side to look at Taeil who's staring confused at his book.

"Taeil-hyung. Did someone said something about not asking me anything?"

Taeil now does look _more_ confused, but he closes his book without marking the page and put it away, giving Donghyuck his full attention. "What do you mean? Did something happened?"

Donghyuck bites his lower lip, hesitant. "Besides some random questions, no one has made any intervention with me… or did anything at all. Did Jungwoo-hyung or Mark said something about not bothering me? Or even Yuta-hyung? I thought I'd be flooded with questions and—and you all seem to be taking this too well. It's worrying."

"Hyuck, _no,_ " Taeil says gently, stressing on the last word. "No one said anything about some restriction or anything like that. Yes, we did talk with each other sometimes, but just because we wanted to understand better and not say anything bad. Some of them are still trying to understand but they’ll come around eventually. It’s not like you’re some new or different person after this—I mean, I won’t lie, you _really_ changed your image and the dreamies’ too but…” he laughs before continuing, “this is only another part of you. And I’m happy that you’re now sharing this very important thing with us.”

“Well… it wasn’t really how I thought it would happen but—” Donghyuck shakes his head, a defeated smile on his face. “We really were gonna tell you all, Taeil-hyung. Really. It’s just—some of them weren’t ready yet. Didn’t want to risk and maybe having to end up a relationship, or lose a close blond with one of the hyungs, if they didn’t support us. It’s scary. Really scary. And if one is still in doubt, of course we wouldn’t go and out them. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but we’re trying to make the most out of it.”

Taeil looks at him with a pitiful gaze. “It’s awful that some of you weren’t ready but had to make this move. It must not have been easy, even more when everything was happening across the globe and you can’t even know what’s happening… But is everyone okay now? Are you all doing good?”

Donghyuck nods his head, a small smile forming on his face. “Yes, hyung. They were very relieved to hear about the reactions and how none of you stormed out and cursed us out of the group— _ah!_ It was a joke, Taeil-hyung, you don’t need to make this face. Anyway. They’re… okay-ish? We’re, of course, gonna talk when I get back, but they’re okay.

Taeil hums.

“I guess that a little on edge of seeing you all after this, but… We will be okay,” Donghyuck finalizes.

“Yes, Haechannie, we will all be okay,” Taeil smiles kindly. “Now come here…”

He opens his arms and Donghyuck leaps out of his bed, immersing on the comforting presence of the elder, closing his arms around Taeil’s frame. Taeil hums a tone that Donghyuck can recognize from somewhere, though he can’t name it. He doesn’t know how long they spent like that, but soon Taeil’s presence is enough to let him slip in a peaceful sleep.

* * *

**jeno:** today’s the day!  
**jeno:** can’t wait to see you soon, hyuck! <3

 **jaemin:** ah... i wonder if his flight has wi-fi…  
**jaemin:** @hyuck

 **jeno:** no reply, i guess not. :(

 **jaemin:** what a pity

 **renjun:** if u both dumbasses checked twitter u would know that 127 just arrived  
**renjun:** previews are being uploaded now  
**renjun:** the fool is arriving soon here

 **jaemin:** !!!!!!!!  
**jaemin:** baby is coming!!! 😊❤️  
**jaemin:** 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

 **jeno:** oh, that’s great!

 **renjun:** come back to bed im lazy and cold

 **jaemin:** can’t :( finishing some food for when hyuck arrives so we can eat together!

 **jeno:** coming now!  
**jeno:** <3

 **renjun:** <3  
**renjun:** @hyuck welcome home u fool come quickly plz

**hyuck:** hello my babies im bacK  
**hyuck:** i lost my keys pls open the door  
**hyuck:** <3  
_(read)_

**Author's Note:**

> this all started bc someone posted the dunes/nudes prompt on the tl and i wanted to write it + try my hand on chat fic and see why everyone likes it and...... lmao it became all this
> 
> stay safe everyone!! take care <3
> 
> find me on [twt](https://twitter.com/pinkhrj) | [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/rensungie) <3


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